Good morning everyone!
I’ve been up since early this morning as I am way too excited to lounge in bed lol.. it’s one of those days, sort of like when you are about to travel and go somewhere you’ve never been, where you just can’t sit still.. well today is the day I have been waiting for since the last few months!
As a lot of you know I am have been painting up a storm, 25 pieces to be exact, each with a very special story of their own.. These months haven’t been easy, I am in my fourth month of pregnancy now, but the first three where pretty rough with lots of nausea and exhaustion, and I was still working at my day job in the airport too till not long ago..
But one thing that kept me going was my dream. We all have a dream since we were little right? I only started pulling this dream out of the closet about 2 years ago. Everyone (including me) thought it was ridiculous, a full time artist? “Don’t artists starve and dress in rags?” lol, who wants to live like that?
No, I was determined, I can do this I thought, or at least die trying! I’ve wasted way too many years watching others fulfill their dreams while I sat by and sighed thinking, “If only I could”…Then one day, I started to go into depression. I didn’t want to go on anymore. I had a huge collapse, my body didn’t respond to my brain anymore, it just sort of…shut down. And as I lay in that hospital bed I couldn’t stop thinking, this is not me, this is not who I was meant to be! I can’t let my life pass me by without even trying!!
And so, I slowly pulled out of that dark place, and started to pick up the pieces again. I went through a really dark and difficult time that year.. of searching, of change, of discovery, of trying to put myself back together, piece by piece. But most of all, of really listening to my heart. I felt I had totally forgotten how to do that…
And so I started painting, and painting, and really just getting everything out, all the past of keeping everything inside, it all just started to pour out… I had finally found a way to tell my own story. To share my voice. And I started to heal. Heal from depression, heal from a past a trauma I had tried shut out but never really heled from. I began to listen to that still small voice inside that I had ignored for way too long.
And I painted, every day, as much as I could, every chance I had. I lacked technique so I signed up for online courses, selling my first paintings at whatever price I could so I could use that money to sign up for another online course and another.. I was desperate to learn all I could, I wanted to be able to best portray what my heart wanted to say, through my art.
In the beginning there were a lot of discouragements, a lot of asking and getting no answers, but I didn’t let that discourage me, to the contrary, I let it encourage me to try harder! And then, finally, things started to fall in place. Now, almost three years later since that fateful day I look back and realize how far I have come, and how far I still have to go. But I look forward, always, and remind myself every day how blessed I am.
I now am able share my art, to teach online and share my passion and heart with others, I am now able to tell my story, to speak my voice, and not hold back. Because I tried.
I won’t be silent anymore and watch the world pass me by. I wont hold back ever again… only move forward. And do my best to encourage you all to do the same. We only live this life once, why not make it an amazing one! 🙂
So keep following your dreams, no matter how crazy they may seem, and don’t look back…
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
And if you have some time today, it would make me SO happy if you’d stop by at the SPRING AUCTION today where I will have those 25 of my pieces up I was telling you about, even just for a word of encouragement. 🙂
This auction, hosted my the amazing Stephanie Gagos, is already underway since the 18th and is running for 12 days, with 21 amazing artists, each day a different one. I have been blown away by the talent and heart of these fellow artists, and of course, of our amazing host Stephanie that makes this all possible.. Thank you Stephanie, and all of you dear friends for making possible to follow our dreams. <3
Have a wonderful day! 🙂